Negotiating the tricky terrain of relationships: A 'love story' for Gen Y

We are warned at the beginning of (500) Days of Summer (Mark Webb, 2009), “this is not a love story”. In world where relationship lines are increasingly blurred, gender roles are shifting, more marriages end in divorce than happiness, and the media increasingly infiltrates our lives, one has to question, has love lost its meaning? And can you say ‘I love you’ with a greeting card?

So many formulaic rom-coms are released each year that churn out fantasy love stories on the variation of boy meets girl who, after a few bumps in the road and quirky adventures, realise they are meant to be together and (assumedly) live happily ever after (or at the least movie ends before the real issues begin). Hollywood has been doing this since Katherine Hepburn made cracks about Cary Grant’s dinosaur bones in Bringing Up Baby (Howard Hawks, 1938). Though we are under no illusions that Days of Summer is one of those films, you can be forgiven for still hoping for that cliched happy ending. By resisting this, the film captures a certain modern cynicism.

The movies and consumer culture infiltrate the characters’ lives. Instead of discussing their relationship, Summer insists on going to the movies. In his deepest moments of sorrow Tom pictures himself as characters in French New Wave films he watching (and who hasn’t done that?!) On their first date, Tom and Summer ironically play house in an Ikea store, the embodiment of pre-fabricated, assembly-line domestic bliss. Except it is exposed as a fabrication – nothing works. Just like Tom is kidding himself about the future of his and Summer’s relationship.

Although Tom’s speech when he realises he is part of the very system that propagates the unreasonable expectations of love that he has fallen victim, is less than subtle, it demonstrates the disillusionment of a generation that thrives on the same mass media culture that they want to rebel against.

Summer embodies a contemporary cynicism towards love and finding ‘the one’. She says she wants something “casual”, that she doesn’t believe in love. She is also pragmatic. When asked what happened to her previous boyfriends, she simply says “life happened”. So is it ironic that she is the one who ends up married? Perhaps, but this does not necessarily mean she has found true love or ‘the on’e. In fact Summer’s motives remain elusive. As Tom says “you just do what you want, don’t you”.

It is refreshing to see a role reversal where the woman has all the power and is active in setting the plot into motion. While he is too tongue-tied to even ask his dream girl out, she makes out with him in the copy room. She waits in his bed naked while he composes himself in the bathroom. It is made explicit when Summer compares them to Sid and Nancy and clarifies “I’m Sid”. This demonstrates how men are increasingly feminised by contemporary society, where their traditional roles as dominant hunter are being undermined.

This film is also about what we project onto people, the feelings and connections that may or may not be there. What evidence does Tom have that him and Summer are meant to be? Because she likes the same music as him and happened to work in the same office?

Sometimes you feel like we are only being shown what Tom wants to remember, or what fits into his fantasy. At one stage Summer points out that they are always fighting but the film only shows one scene where they argue. Like so many of us he blocks out those moments he doesn’t want to remember: her crying at the end of The Graduate and not sharing with him why; moving her hand away when he goes to hold it. The things that don’t fit in with the fantasy are blocked out.

The role of the narrator is important, giving the feeling of fantasy and storytelling. Sometimes you are not sure whether what you are seeing on screen matches the narration or whether to believe the only identification point offered – Tom’s. The action in the film often undermines the romanticism of the narration. The narrator tells us “the next four words changed everything” but when Summer says “I haven’t told anyone”, it does not seem that significant.

The structure of the film encapsulates the way we reflect back on relationships. Time is not linear. Memories interact with each other and spark new memories. And only once you have reached the end of something can you truly understanding everything that has come before.

And at the end of the day, the best you can hope for is that you will learn something from the experience. It helps Tom get out the rut he is in career-wise and pursue what he’s always wanted to do. (The film would have been more satisfying for me if he’d got his dream job at the end). Sometimes it might not work out the way you hoped with someone but they might have changed your life for the better in some other way.

The ending is a little flat and tries to play it both ways. For those who want to believe in the Hollywood happy ending, ‘fate’ brings Tom a new girl who could be the love of his life (conveniently named Autumn). For those who want to remain cynical, it echoes with hollowness, simply providing another person for Tom to project his unreasonable expectations onto.

As for me, I was left remembering the last scene between Tom and Summer and the message that there are some people you will never understand and you just have to let it go.